[She would have carried it with her; it would have changed who she was from that moment. Carlisle can relate to those statements to a painful degree -- learning of his affliction for the first time did that, turning someone relatively optimistic about his newfound talents into a shadow of himself. He still became a healer, certainly, but he no longer felt as though he'd finally found his place in his family; he went from a late bloomer to the utter failure of it in an instant, a belief that festered in him for the rest of his life. It was just as much of an illness as his curse itself, if not more so. It drove him toward isolation and self-doubt, which manifested as the bitterness he feels even now -- the bitterness that gave rise to what he is now.
In truth, he can relate to Poison's words twice-fold: awakening as himself and discovering he was a Revenant, finding out what he'd done -- it had changed him again, and much like the first time, it wasn't for the better. Her advice sounds so much like what he would have told someone in his confessional were they the ones in need of guidance, but they weren't him -- they weren't a Longinmouth, weren't the ones who brought down a prominent, proud bloodline and the town they'd fostered, sworn to protect—
He bites back raw emotion as it wells within him. His senses may be dulled, but he's all too aware how easy it is for his feelings to dominate him these days. When calm, he is himself, but when angry, or frustrated, or scared—]
Of course.
[It's just two words, but the quake in his voice is evident, even more so as he continues.]
If I may ask you one more thing: have you ever felt unsure of who you were and who you are now?
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Date: 2019-11-13 09:58 pm (UTC)In truth, he can relate to Poison's words twice-fold: awakening as himself and discovering he was a Revenant, finding out what he'd done -- it had changed him again, and much like the first time, it wasn't for the better. Her advice sounds so much like what he would have told someone in his confessional were they the ones in need of guidance, but they weren't him -- they weren't a Longinmouth, weren't the ones who brought down a prominent, proud bloodline and the town they'd fostered, sworn to protect—
He bites back raw emotion as it wells within him. His senses may be dulled, but he's all too aware how easy it is for his feelings to dominate him these days. When calm, he is himself, but when angry, or frustrated, or scared—]
Of course.
[It's just two words, but the quake in his voice is evident, even more so as he continues.]
If I may ask you one more thing: have you ever felt unsure of who you were and who you are now?