[Time continues to flow forward, much like a river -- whether Carlisle learns to navigate the waters himself and move forward, or be drowned beneath their currents as he stagnates, mired in his misery and guilt, is up to him. Given he nearly threw himself into the Cottonmouth on more than one occasion, he can't say he's ever been much of one for trying to move forward. He has survived thus far, telling himself he had to keep moving, but had he actually done so? Had he changed? Was he not still embroiled in the same embittered despair he faced in life, made all the worse by his death?
The uncertainty of his future and his potential to make things worse has always kept him grounded. Genji's advice is good -- better than anything he would give, perhaps -- but Carlisle isn't sure he fully accepts it yet.]
I see.
[He'll have to work on it, as the alternatives -- being so burdened by his remorse that he crumples beneath his self-loathing, either bringing an end to his existence, giving way to a far worse creature like the Blight Heir, or both simultaneously -- are unbearable. As he said to Genji when they last spoke, it isn't easy being angry at oneself; these days, where Carlisle feels he has little value to offer, there is little but anger.
He offers Genji his mask, still reluctant to part with it.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2019-11-30 01:57 am (UTC)The uncertainty of his future and his potential to make things worse has always kept him grounded. Genji's advice is good -- better than anything he would give, perhaps -- but Carlisle isn't sure he fully accepts it yet.]
I see.
[He'll have to work on it, as the alternatives -- being so burdened by his remorse that he crumples beneath his self-loathing, either bringing an end to his existence, giving way to a far worse creature like the Blight Heir, or both simultaneously -- are unbearable. As he said to Genji when they last spoke, it isn't easy being angry at oneself; these days, where Carlisle feels he has little value to offer, there is little but anger.
He offers Genji his mask, still reluctant to part with it.]
Is that what your master taught you?