[Carlisle's eyes flick to Genji, his frustration with himself evident in a look alone; it mirrors that in his voice.]
Does it truly matter? Whether I was aware or not does not change what happened, nor does it bring back the dead. It does not erase from history the burden I placed upon those around me, the damnation of the Longinmouth name, the horrors I committed. But—
[And there is a but, one he didn't mean to let slip, but escapes in his irritation regardless. He continues -- no taking it back, either.]
... but I fear that, in accepting all that I've done, I will see myself as the monster I always believed myself to be. As more of a monster than I am even now. And- and I feel that, should that happen, I will lose what little humanity I have left.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2019-12-11 09:03 pm (UTC)Does it truly matter? Whether I was aware or not does not change what happened, nor does it bring back the dead. It does not erase from history the burden I placed upon those around me, the damnation of the Longinmouth name, the horrors I committed. But—
[And there is a but, one he didn't mean to let slip, but escapes in his irritation regardless. He continues -- no taking it back, either.]
... but I fear that, in accepting all that I've done, I will see myself as the monster I always believed myself to be. As more of a monster than I am even now. And- and I feel that, should that happen, I will lose what little humanity I have left.